(5 Minute Read)

The other day I woke up with grief in my heart.

It was a weird feeling, especially because I didn’t know why.

That’s kind of the thing about grief. It comes unexpectedly and often unannounced.

Grief is a deeply painful process, which tends to mean we aren’t very good at it.

I say “it” because grieving is an act we do, not just an emotion (or series of emotions) we feel.

It’s a process, and because it’s a process filled with pain, we often run from it.

This past year has been filled with hard moments of grief. A therapist friend of mine has been helping me reconcile all the changes in my life and how each transition (healthy or unhealthy) has grief attached to it. So I’ve learned to go through the grief-process as often as I need to.

However, that day when I woke up grieving, not knowing what I was grieving about made it hard to engage with grief itself.

Eventually, my spirit and soul turned to (and found comfort) in a description of Jesus from the book of Isaiah. This is actually a prophetic passage that proclaims who Jesus will be, before He was ever born

“For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, And like a root out of parched ground; He has no stately form or majesty That we should look upon Him, Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him. He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53‬:‭2‬-‭5‬

I’ve read and heard that passage many times throughout my life, but reading it that day something changed in me.

I was confronted with the reality that for almost all of my life I’ve believed grief to be “negative” or weak. With that belief in place it’s natural to then feel shame about going through the process of grief.

So the real belief I was confronted about is this:

I’ve been projecting my shame about grief onto Jesus.

Unconsciously I believe His title of “Aquainted With Grief” meant that He was shameful and weak.

Hear me, I know Jesus was a human so He understands the pain of being human. There were definitely times where He was weak and vulnerable.

That’s not necessarily what I’m talking about though.

I let my personal shame about feeling weak in grief exist higher than the truth of Jesus, and since He knew grief “well” I thought that meant He was shameful.

I thought it meant that Jesus was weak.

I’ve realized this belief was deep in my internal system.

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Here’s a reality:

Grief is hard.

To be “acquainted with grief” means you are very familiar with that level of hardness—you’ve experienced it many times.

It means you are involved so deeply in the world around you that you are affected to your core when pain, destruction, betrayal, heartbreak, sorrow, and death happen (even to someone else!).

That means Jesus experienced the deep pain of grief over and over again in His life. And He didn’t run from it.

It takes a brave man to do that. That takes courage.

That’s who Jesus is—brave, courageous, and mature in His humanity.

“Acquainted with grief” is not a weak identification statement—it’s a mature one.

It’s a mature person who knows and understands (aquainted with) the presence and affect of grief—both to them personally, and to the world culturally.

Jesus was not “weak” because He knew grief well.

Jesus was mature in that fact.

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So here’s the invitation for us today: Become maturely acquainted with grief, too.

Not because we have destructive habits that produce death in our life, or a martyr-complex that makes us run toward death like a victim.

Become acquainted with grief because your body, soul, and spirit need you to grieve the pain in your life—it’s part of being a healthy God-image bearer.

Become acquainted with grief because the people around you are grieving—they need help getting through it.

Become acquainted with grief because you have family members and friends going through gut-wrenching experiences—walk with them through the pain. Get involved to the point where your heart hurts like their heart hurts.

Become acquainted with grief because of the injustices happening in the world around you, both locally and globally—let that pain move you to do something about it.

Become acquainted with grief because of the culture of death and destruction we live in—let it confront something in you, and let that cause you to confront the culture.

Become acquainted with grief because Jesus is acquainted with grief—that’s where He is.

And if you are grieving today let Him meet you there. Let Him grieve with you. Let Him grieve for you. Let Him walk that painful road beside you. Where grief is, He exists.

When was the last time you cried in the presence of God? When was the last time you were honest with Him about your heart and your emotions? When was the last time you were open with the hard questions you have for Him?

Maybe that’s something you need to do to start to heal your grief.

He’s human-enough to hold your pain, and He’s God-enough to do something with it.

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For our own sake, and for the world around us, we must become a people who mature in this.

Let’s become acquainted with grief.

With wisdom and gentleness,

Seth

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P. S. I’m exploring the idea of having a “sponsor” for this blog, and currently working out the details. If this is something you are interested in please email me so we can connect.